We have compiled a huge database of Rude pickup lines from our users.

Our list of Rude Pickup Lines...

Have you ever procced flurry on a Gizmo-tron jackhammer?

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(Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!

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Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

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Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.

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Are we playing Assault? Cause I’m pretty sure you are the bomb.

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Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.

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Are you a virgin? [No] Prove it!

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Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.

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Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

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Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!

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Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

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Are you gay? [No] Wow, me neither, let's have sex.

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Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

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Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

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Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

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Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

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At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

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Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

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Baby were you in the army? Because you make my privates stand to attention.

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Baby you're so hot you should have your own warnings on the weather channel

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Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

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Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

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Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

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Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

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Be unique and different, say yes.

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Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.

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Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

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Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.

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Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?

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Come into my office and take off your pants.

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Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?

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Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

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Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

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Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

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Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?

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Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

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Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

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Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?

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Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?

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Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.

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Do you cum here often or wait till you get home?

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Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

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Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.

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Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

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Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

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Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!

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Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?

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Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.

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Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

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Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

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Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?

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Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.

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Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?

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Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?

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Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?

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Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?

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Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?

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Do you wanna see why my nickname is 'tri-pod'?

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Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?

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Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

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Don't you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?

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Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

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Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.

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Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

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Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

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Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

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Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...

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Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

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First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

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For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

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From across the bar you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!

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Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

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Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?

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Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.

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Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

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Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!

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Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

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Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?

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Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

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Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?

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Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

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Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

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Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [No] What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

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Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!

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Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?

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Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.

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Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.

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Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

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Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

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Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.

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Hey Bitches!!! Free Cociane!!

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Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

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Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

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Hey! Wanna play war? I'll lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!

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Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.

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Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

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Hey, I've got some legendary pokemon, do you want to touch my pokeballs to see just how legendary they are?

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Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?

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Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

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Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?

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Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

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Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.

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Hi, wanna fuck? [No] Mind lying down while I do?

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Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

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Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

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How about you come and see my safari zone.

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How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).

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How was heaven when you left it?

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I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.

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I can see anything within miles of here, but there's nothing I'd rather look at than you.

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I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".

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I didn't know that angels could fly so low!

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I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

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I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

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I don't know you, but I think I love you already.

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I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

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I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.

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I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

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I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

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I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Want me to put some words in your mouth??

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I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?

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I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

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I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

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I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

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I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

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I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

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I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

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I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?

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I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

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I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

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I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.

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I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

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I sneezed because God blessed me with you.

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I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don't need it after all.

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I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.

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I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

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I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.

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I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

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I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....

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I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

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I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

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I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

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I wish i was your problem set, because then i'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long!

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I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

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I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...

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I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

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I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

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I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?

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I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

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I'm easy. Are you?

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I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

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I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

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I'm hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?

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I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

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I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

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I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.

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I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

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I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

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If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

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If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.

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If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.

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If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK'

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If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

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If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

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If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.

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If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.

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If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...

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If I pet you, would you follow me home?

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If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.

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If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

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If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

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If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

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If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.

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If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.

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If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

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If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

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If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

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if we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)

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If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

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If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.

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If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

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If you were a steak you would be well done.

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If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

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Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

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Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.

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Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!

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Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

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Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

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Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.

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Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!

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Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!

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Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

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It seems as if my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.

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It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.

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Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.

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Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

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Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

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Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle

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Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.

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Life is short. Let's fuck and see if there is anything after that.

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Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

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Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

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Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

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My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

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My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

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My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

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My name's [your name]. Just so you know what to scream.

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Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

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Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

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Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!

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Oh, you're a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?

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Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!

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Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.

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See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.

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Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

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So do you fuck, suck and take it up the ass or am I wasting my time on a Jesus freak?

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So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

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So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.

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So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?

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So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?

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Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!

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Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.

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Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

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Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

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The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?

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The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

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The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

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There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?

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There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.

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There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

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There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

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There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!

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There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

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They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?

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This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.

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This time next year let’s be laughing together.

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Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.

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Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.

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Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.

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Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

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Want to ride my emPOLEon?

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Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!

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Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

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Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

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We're out of bleach. Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out?    

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Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.

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Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

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Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

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Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

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What can I do to make you sleep with me?

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What do you like for breakfast?

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What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

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What time do you have to be back in heaven?

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What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!

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What's the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!

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What's your favorite sound? My favorite sound is my balls slapping your ass.

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When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

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When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

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Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

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Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

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Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

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Would you care to see my longsword in action?

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Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?

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Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.

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Wow! Are those real?

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Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

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Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits

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Yesterday I wanted to take I shower. I pulled back the curtain and there was a rhinoceros and a giraffe in the tub. They were eating cheese and they said "Hi."

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You are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

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You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

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You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

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You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!

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You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

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You are the reason men fall in love.

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You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

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You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."

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You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.

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You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

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You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

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You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

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You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?

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You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

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You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.

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You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

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You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

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You look imprintable…I mean uhh..impeccable in that outfit.

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You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

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You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.

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You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

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You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

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You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

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You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

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You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!

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You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

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You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.

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You're hotter than donut grease.

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You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

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You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

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You, me, here... this couldn't be any better if I programmed the holodeck myself!

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Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.

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Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.

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Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns.

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Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.

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Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

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Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.

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Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?

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Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.

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[Excuse me, do you have the time?] "Yes, do you have the energy?"

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[Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"

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[Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

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